I’ve tested sex toys professionally for years now and I hate throwing them away. I think I’ve only ever done it once. So, in an effort to find some use for all these old vibrators, I used my keen analytical mind to engineer a radical new way to upcycle your favorite old sex toy: Stick it in a sock and give it to your cat. 

Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that, but that’s a pretty accurate elevator pitch for what we’re going to be doing here. Basically we’re encasing an old vibrator in a layer of cloth, a layer of stuffing, and another layer of cloth. 

Step 1: Base layer

First we need to pick a suitable vibrator. Most vibrators will do for this method, but I find ones with buttons that you can easily feel through fabric to be the best picks. Bullet vibrators are also a solid choice. For this demonstration, I’ll be using a red silicone vibrator with raised buttons. Make sure it’s fully charged, and then stick it in a sock or any kind of small cloth bag. A Crown Royal bag works well, you could even sew one yourself easily enough. If it has a drawstring go ahead and cinch it around the toy, fully enclosing it. 

Now we don’t want it to be sealed in there forever, we want to be able to access the toy if we need to (for recharging it), so don’t stitch it in there or tie a knot you can’t un-tie. If you’re doing the sock method like I am here, a hair tie will do beautifully to cinch the opening closed. 

Step 2: Stuff n’ Fluff

Everyone has one pillow they don’t use anymore right? Or like, some old underwear or just socks with holes in them? Either one works. Basically what we’re doing is taking another sock (or another drawstring bag), stuffing it with polyfill from a pillow, old socks, or old underwear, and then repeating the same step we did above. You can also add some catnip or silvervine in there if you think your cat might like that. Now cinch the bag closed around the fluff—again, a hair tie will do great here. 

Step 3: Observe

You might need to re-tool the toy a few times to make it into something that really appeals to your cat. I’d suggest sewing some ears onto it and maybe adding some eyes to give it some personality. But once you’re ready, take what you’ve made, squish the toy until you find the on button, pick a vibration pattern, and put it on the ground near your cat. My cat likes to chase it, so I’ll turn it on and lob it down the hallway, and she’ll grab it and give it a good claw and chomp. 

That’s it! You’ve made yourself a janky-as-fuck cat toy out of old panties and an old vibrator. Just make sure you keep the charger handy, so you can open it up to recharge it and maybe swap in some fresh catnip while you’re at it. It might not solve the greater issue of sex toy recyclability, but at least your cat got a weird little toy out of it. 

The post How to Turn an Old Vibrator Into a Cat Toy appeared first on VICE.

Wordle (NSFW Edition)

Step one: don’t make any assumptions. We’re not all the same, so even if you’ve slept with one trans person, what works for them might not work for your next paramour. For example, I slept with someone once who referred to my genital area with a word a previous partner had enjoyed. That word made me cringe so hard that the my thighs slammed shut, sex over, no thank you, nuh-uh, ew gross, no thank you. I won’t repeat what it was here, because like I said, even though that word is an absolute mood killer for me, it’s perfectly fine for many other folks. So fine, in fact you’ll probably see it if you frequent enough porn sites. 

In practice, that just means have a conversation about words. Things come up when you’re getting down, and it’s always better to know beforehand what words and terms will turn your partner on (not off). The sentiment you’re trying to express here is simple: “Are there any words you like using or don’t like using for your genitals and/or erogenous zones?” Of course that’s not what I usually say, because I’m not a psychopath. Instead, I usually go with something like “are there any sexual words you like or don’t like?” I recently had someone ask “what terms do you prefer for stuff below the belt?” which is a fantastic way to frame that question, A-plus, 10/10, please see me after class.

If you’re like me and you’re a big big slut, you might want to go for a saucier approach—if your relationship with this person is already erotically charged. For instance, I might do some heavy-duty grade-A flirting, then lean in close and ask something like “where are some places you might want me to put my mouth later?” It all depends on at what point in your relationship you’re asking these questions (moments before sex, or before it’s ever even on the table?). For me (again, big slut) I opt for “in the vicinity of sex,” typically. Are we already on the topic? Are we sexting and I need to fill in the blank before I send you a message so shockingly filthy you’ll drop your phone and it’ll hit your boner on the way down? Be smart, err on the side of caution. 

Between a Rock and a Wet Place

There are some words and terms that are easy to overlook, though. Specifically things like “suck” or “eat,” and “hard” or “wet.” When there are words for things that you might typically associate with a vulva or phallus specifically, consider if those words might have gendered connotations before using them. As always, it’s best to ask. 

At this point, you might be asking yourself: “jeez is this whole article just telling me to ask questions and be courteous?” Yes, actually. That is kind of the whole thing. Consent is a conversation, it’s not an implication, it’s not subtle, it’s not subtext. It’s spoken clearly and unambiguously, it’s enthusiastic. That’s what all of this is about: consent. Consent to use certain words, consent to touch certain places, consent to touch those places in a certain way. 

Other words you might want to check on before you hit the sheets: Good girl, good boy, mommy, daddy, master, mistress, etc. If you’ll be engaging in any kind of kink, advanced conversations about consent should be a breeze for you, just make sure you touch on anything that’s even remotely gendered. The answer might surprise you. For instance, I once knew a trans man who liked to be called a good girl while he was all tied up, and the girly-girliest, most femme trans girl you ever met who was daddy in the bedroom. 

Talkin’ Bodies

A trans person’s relationship to their body can be a very complicated thing. A trans person wanting to share that body with another person, trans or not, is a gift. Even if it’s a no-strings-attached hookup with a stranger. Vulnerability doesn’t always come easy to us, so when it’s offered make sure you treat it with care and respect. Especially if you’d ever like it to be offered again. Which brings us to our next lesson: touching and sensation.

There is truly nothing hotter than checking in with your partner about how they like to be touched or where they like to be touched. Even if you think the answer will be an unequivocal “yes, fuck, yes,” asking before touching gives you both a moment of anticipation to enjoy and it also allows your partner (trans or not) the chance to redirect your attentions or tell you about a specific trigger of theirs. This is something you should do with everyone, and I guarantee it will make your sex life better by about 1000%. For real, ask your partner “can I put this in my mouth” or “can I touch you here” and they are going to quiver with delight. 

It’s extra important to do this with a trans partner because there might be ways they’ve been touched in the past (when presenting as a different gender) that they don’t enjoy. If you have a dick, and your trans partner has one too, don’t assume they enjoy the same kinds of sensations. 

There are a lot of changes a trans person’s body may have undergone during their monthly transformation on the night of the blood moon. Surgeries, hormones, ancient curses laid upon their bloodline. All these things have one thing in common: They’re nobody’s business. Don’t ask about surgery, don’t ask about hormones, definitely don’t ask about the blood-curse. If we want to talk about any of those things, we will. 

Okay, if you’re not allowed to ask about them, why did I bring them up? Well, that’s easy. To tell you not to bring them up. Duh. Okay, there’s also another reason, and it’s important—so you and your genitals better listen up. Hormones, surgeries, lycanthropy—these can all make physical changes to a trans person’s body. So you may have thought, because of all this, I should touch a trans woman’s body the way I’d touch a woman’s body. And, you’re right—but the way you touch a trans person has nothing to do with the medical minutiae of their biology (and everything to do with the way they want to be touched). Which, remember, you should be discussing before and during the act. Because if they want something that you haven’t thought to try, asking how they like to be touched will give them an opening to tell you. 

What Not To Do

Don’t ask about surgeries. Don’t ask about hormones. Don’t ask about their birth or dead name. Don’t ask how long they’ve been X, Y, or Z gender. Don’t ask “did you always know?” type questions. If we want you to know any of these things, we will likely volunteer them at some point. It’s not enough to pose the question and then back off and say something like “but you don’t have to answer, of course,” because you’ve then put the decision on us to deny you information. Just don’t. 

Secondly, don’t ask us about being trans or what being trans is like. This one is mostly for cis folks. If that’s a conversation we want to have, we’ll bring it up. Every trans person you’re ever likely to encounter has spent countless hours explaining that shit to people and it’s exhausting. Most of us probably won’t tell you no if you do ask these things. But I know personally that I always feel a little bit of an obligation to at least provide some kind of answer (in hopes that, if I do, they won’t ask the next trans person they meet the same damn thing). 

That concludes our lesson, for now. I hope this was informative, helpful, and titillating. But most of all I hope you and the trans person you’re reading this about have incredible, amazing, mind-blowingly great sex. 

The post How to Have Sex With a Trans Person appeared first on VICE.

The study surveyed 242,000 15-year-olds in 42 countries between 2004 and 2022. They found that condom use among sexually active teens went from 70% down to 61% for boys and from 63% to 57% for girls. You have to wonder if these teenagers think it’s weird that they’re getting STDs and unwanted pregnancies and if there’s anything that could prevent all that from happening. Because there is! it only costs a few dollars at the drugstore, or free if you take them from your stepdad’s nightstand. 

In the United States, multiple studies have shown that condom use among high schoolers has declined, down from 63% in 2003 to 54% in 2019—so this is not just a European trend. The CDC has said that teen sex in America is on the decline, but the WHO said its reports of teenage sexual activity have actually remained stable—it’s just the condom use that has dramatically decreased. The report says some of the sharpest decreases are in the UK, particularly Scotland and Wales. 

Hans Kluge, WHO Regional Director for Europe, says this is all largely due to faulty sexual education and the outright resistance of such educational programs in some parts of the world. He argues that sexual education does not lead to increased sexual activity but rather smarter sexual activity. Teenagers are going to be fucking regardless, so might as well make sure we teach them how to do it safely—and provide easy access to contraceptives.

It’s no wonder that according to the report, STIs have been on the rise across Europe. Syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea can be easily prevented if you just bagged it up, boys.

The post Teen Condom Use Is Dropping Worldwide Despite Rising STI Rates, Says WHO appeared first on VICE.

The unidentified couple was “getting busy” in their 2020 Range Rover, according to police, when something, perhaps a foot, an arm, or whatever else you could imagine, hit the shift and put it into drive. That’s when the vehicle began moving forward.

The issue, besides the unexpected jumpstart, was that the couple had parked right up against the Schuylkill River in Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park. 

I mean, if you’re going to get after it bright and early, why not do so with a river view?

The car ended up rolling straight into the water. Fortunately, the two were able to cut things short just in time to jump out of the moving vehicle before it nosedived into the river. Each person was able to get out unharmed, though there is no word on whether any of them were feeling blue.

Dive crews came to locate the vehicle and worked to remove it throughout the morning. Details were sparse, but we can only assume that the couple was the one who notified the police of what happened, which, if that was the case, had to be an awkward conversation.

A study a few years ago by University of South Dakota researchers found that a majority of college students (61% of men and 58.5% of women) had engaged in sexual activity in vehicles, despite previous assumptions that this behavior was declining.

For those unfamiliar with Philly, the Schuylkill River, which is the most mispronounced word in the city’s vernacular, runs through the city and goes straight into the Delaware River. It’s home to some of the best sights in the city, including the iconic Boathouse Row. 

So it’s no surprise that a couple in love would turn to that spot first. Perhaps next time, they’ll make sure to be more aware of their surroundings, but then again, we’ve all been there when things get hot and heavy and spatial awareness sometimes go out the window. 

Or in this case, into the river. 

The post A Couple Hooking Up in a Car Accidentally Rolled It Into the River appeared first on VICE.

No longer giving sermons, he soon became a “dungeon monitor” (tasked with ensuring there’s consent in kink-play spaces) and founded Switch Kitchen, which holds educational seminars and produces woke BDSM movies. In spite of what you might assume, the transition from the Bible to ball-gags “wasn’t a hard swap,” he recalls. “No-one has anything to hide here. I’ve experienced real community.”

Lex is just one of many atypical characters I’ll meet on this giant luxury yacht, hired out for a ‘fetish cruise’ to celebrate the annual Vancouver Fetish Weekend. Missionary-loving squares can walk the plank: only serious perverts are welcome aboard, and 350 of them make the cut. A crew of artists, porn stars, entrepreneurs, and strippers have gathered to embark on a three-hour pleasure voyage onto the high seas, far away from the bemused onlookers at the harbour gawking at the latex-clad, gimp mask-wearing kinksters. Some arrive with their play partners, others appear to be on the hunt for fresh meat. “Don’t diss anyone’s kink!” a poster advertising the house rules says. “It might not be your kink, but that’s OK.” Another directive reads: “Don’t get messy! No blood or body fluids.”

The organiser Isaac Terpstra claims to have been the first to bring this niche excursion to North America, providing attendees a uniquely buoyant sense of liberation that comes from being on a boat with the wind in their sails while being spanked silly into an adrenaline-fuelled altered state. “It’s a weird little paradise to find common ground, bond, and play,” he told me recently.

As the boatload of randy fiends sets sail from the harbour at a rate of several knots, leaving the prying eyes stranded on shore, all manner of lascivious activities start to commence—involving ropes, horsewhips, hockey sticks, giant insect swatters, suspension frames, workout benches, boxing gloves, and other paraphernalia.

Cruises of the vanilla variety are known for their endless offerings of “structured fun,” and for pampering guests with humongous buffets and extravagant stage shows. This X-rated version isn’t entirely dissimilar. 

An extreme but consensual scene ensues in which one woman, clearly trained in combat sports, beats up a younger lady on an exercise mat. “She’s scared, but a good scared,” says the play monitor, who is managing the ‘crash pad’ area on the second floor. A tidal wave of seemingly ceaseless spanking begins, with willing recipients splayed out across a number of benches. A young woman tied up with ropes hangs in midair while her dominator decides what to do with her next. An erotic dancer gyrates on a pole. A DJ plays sleazy techno reworks. It’s fetish pandemonium. Meanwhile, mildly disinterested security guards, speaking to each other in their mother tongue, patrol on the lookout for any serious transgressions.

Part of the appeal of bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism—that’s BDSM for any ingénues—is a quest for healing from traumatic experiences. This is explained to me by Lex, who is also known (to whom, it’s never made clear) as the “soft dom with a sadistic streak.” Last night, during another event, a man told Lex of being consensually spanked for the first time after suffering from an assault earlier in his life. “He came up to us, and he said: ‘This really healed me.’”

Like Lex, most people here go by pseudonyms. Some simply deploy their usernames from the BDSM community site FetLife. Marilyn, an attorney and former professional dominatrix, discovered BDSM in San Francisco in the 1990s when she met a drag queen at a nightclub and experienced a thrilling sense of adventure from wearing a skimpy rubber skirt. She met her companion—a nameless male gimp, who is not permitted to speak—in Montreal a couple of years back. “He brought his big bubble head,” she says. “He’s my big beautiful balloon today.” Deep intimacy turns her on, she explains. “People really knowing me, and me really knowing them. We all want to be known.”

The last four years of Marilyn’s life have principally been spent in Miami caring for her mother, whose health is in serious decline. “It’s been a very rich, fulfilling period, in a completely different realm than where most of my life journey has been.” On the cruise, she is back in her natural element and “gets to be a star” against a stunning backdrop—Vancouver’s sprawling, futuristic skyline gliding by on one side of the ship, and a range of snow-capped mountains on the other.

“Sometimes I break down crying while I’m being spanked. That’s why I fell in love with it.”

“I love men, I recognise how sensitive they are,” Marilyn says, while holding her gimp by his leash. She tells me that her partner of 12 years is back in her hotel room, while another man has also been enlisted to sleep on the floor and remain at her beck and call. Does she have sex with any of her subs? “No, it’s only for one person, it’s sacred. They’re not my slave. It’s got to be a relationship of parity.”

Her partner, a well-known sportsman turned pundit, I’m told, “loves” how Marilyn bosses around other men, while maintaining her strong boundaries. “Orgasms involving genitalia are fleeting things,” she says. “Here, we’re creating erotic, provocative, sensual, stimulating situations that will live in your mind for many years to come.”

Out on the windy sundeck, I watch as a man named Max gingerly emerges from an intense flogging session administered by Lex, blood trickling from his hip, lacerations carved across his back. It is an image that will remain etched in my psyche. Max met his wife through the BDSM scene. “We were both into latex,” he says. They divorced a year ago, though, and today he is seemingly in a throuple with another man and a woman. “The connection between sub and dom allows growth,” he explains. “It’s like therapy. It touches on early trauma. Sometimes I break down crying while I’m being spanked. That’s why I fell in love with it.”

Safety is a priority here. “Anyone who is known for violating consent in this subculture is immediately outcast,” says Fetish Dynasty, another male gimp, who is wearing a dog tag that says he is the property of someone called ‘Venus Deathtrap.’ He has been “in the scene” for 25 years and his love affair with latex began when he was a competitive swimmer.

“The feeling of ownership is very cool,” he says. “It takes away a lot of the confusion and doubt. The interpersonal dynamics of BDSM are very clearly structured. There’s no not-knowing what my role is here.” Venus Deathtrap, whose permission I had to seek in order to speak to Fetish Dynasty, allows us to talk alone for a couple of minutes before reattaching Mr Dynasty to his leash.

Despite all the pervy attentiveness and care on display today, the consent line does occasionally get crossed in the fetish world, mostly by accident. “If you hit a capillary during needle play, you’re going to bleed more and get significantly more bruising than the person was expecting,” says corporate executive and edge play educator, Speedy Rope Guy, or SRG, “but these are risks that we communicate first.”

SRG was introduced to Toronto’s BDSM scene by a former high school teacher when he was 20 years old. “He said, ‘So, I’m into Japanese rope bondage.’ I went, ‘So am I.’” The teacher took SRG to his first event and the rest is history. Now, he is a needle play expert, a painful practice which can leave genitalia blood-splattered. “Needles are actually something I was terrified of,” he says. SRG would be “the screaming child” whenever he needed injections, but the intense activity has allowed him to demystify that fear. “With kink, I can push intimacy to levels that a lot of people don’t get to truly experience.”

Most people have never got to experience the non-stop horniness of a fetish cruise, either.

The sun begins to set. We dance to the new David Guetta tune about women looking for men who work in finance, and Terpstra organises a group photo of all the attendees dressed as sailors. “Everyone say, ‘Semen!’” he shouts, reassuring worried folks that yes, bottomless nudity is permitted at the strip club afterparty back in Vancouver. I will sit and watch there later, as a woman dressed as a nun plunges a crucifix-shaped dildo into the vagina of a fellow sister as the wild crowd screams for more. To my regret, I never get to ask Lex whether this kind of heresy could ever lead him to repent.

Words by Mattha Busby, Photos by Paige Taylor White

The post Making Friends on the World’s First Fetish Cruise Ship appeared first on VICE.

In one video, @cherryapricott moans while swishing a white substance around her mouth, before proclaiming to the camera, “I love the taste of Greek yogurt.” Another sees @oliviafleur_x, who has over 472,000 followers on the platform, talking suggestively while moving her hand, half off-camera, in an unequivocally sexual gesture. One popular trend sees creators accusing viewers of holding their phones in their left hand before counting them down with breathy encouragement. 

The internet is littered with free explicit porn, pandering to every preference and fantasy. So why are subtler forms of sexual content all over TikTok?

When sex content creators initially flooded TikTok, the app’s format and algorithm rewarded them: its #foryou page serves up content that’s aligned with a user’s interests, making it easier for creators to be discovered and grow than on Instagram or Snapchat, which are primarily friends and follower-based. “I believe many of my followers happened to stumble across my content whilst scrolling the FYP, and something about me or the style of my content caught their eye,” says Olivia Fleur.

Adult creator Grace Grey, who runs TikTok account @gracegreyasmr, believes there’s an audience on TikTok because “watching a creator there feels more personal, and you can engage with the creator more than traditional porn”.

Indeed, most creators fill requests and respond to comments from fevered followers, offering a coveted OnlyFans-like connection for free. “Viewers enjoy the GFE (girlfriend experience) feeling of personal attention and closeness,” explains Olivia Fleur. Fellow adult creator Madeline Miller agrees: “There’s something about seeing someone that you could maybe meet or be friends with and seeing them sexually.” 

The sexual content on TikTok likely benefits from the stigma attached to hardcore porn. “Traditional porn and the watching of it can come, for some people, with a huge amount of shame and guilt attached to it,” Fleur says. “Scrolling through TikTok or Instagram when you’re horny feels far more innocent than heading straight to a traditional porn site.” (The app’s sex-themed ASMR-themed erotic videos aren’t even primarily visual, so at first glance, they appear relatively innocent.) The sense of surreptitiousness that comes with clandestine sexual content on a supposedly safe-for-work app also likely plays a role, as does the knowledge that the videos could be taken down at any second.

TikTok uses both an algorithm and a real-life team of moderators to redact videos that violate their strict community guidelines, even if their rules are somewhat convoluted. The app prohibits “sex, sexual arousal, fetish, and kink behavior” and “the use of sexually explicit narratives”, but it does allow for “seductive performances or sexualized posing by adults, or allusions to sexual activity by adults”.

Where precisely they draw the line between “sexually explicit narratives” and “allusions to sexual activity” is unclear. Nevertheless, according to TikTok, the app removed 95 percent of sensitive and mature themed content found to violate its community guidelines in 2023’s third quarter. 

“I do the first level of my clothing, fully clothed, on TikTok, and then I’ll take a piece off, move to Instagram, take another piece off, move to Twitter, and then take it all off, and I’m on OnlyFans.” – Madeline Miller

Grey, Fleur, and Miller say that this volume of censorship lines up with their experiences. “Any videos where I explicitly say something sexual or moan gets taken down,” says Grey. She and Fleur have had their accounts removed in the past and have had to cultivate new followings. Grey has multiple strikes on her current accounts, explaining that it’s not just the platform that takes issue with her videos but fellow users. Both Grey and Fleur have sometimes had videos reinstated after they appeal—most likely, Fleur suspects, after real people have reviewed them.  

According to a TikTok spokesperson, “While technology is more advanced at detecting overt nudity, there will always be borderline content that is more challenging for our systems to identify. Our moderators work alongside our automated moderation systems and take into account additional context and nuance which may not always be picked up by technology.”

TikTok is particularly prolific at moderating nudity, which its guidelines strictly prohibit. “Any form of nudity, even sometimes bikini videos, will get taken down,” explains Grey, who maintains that Instagram is comparatively lax. Miller agrees: “It’s almost like I do the first level of my clothing, fully clothed, on TikTok, and then I’ll take a piece off, move to Instagram, take another piece off, move to Twitter, and then take it all off, and I’m on OnlyFans.”

For adult creators, like the proprietors of any other business, social media is a means of self-promotion, helping them draw followers to more lucrative subscription-based channels. Grey shares erotic content on TikTok to drive traffic to her OnlyFans, because on TikTok, “it is relatively easy to grow a following quickly”.

But TikTok strictly prohibits creators from hyperlinking X-rated subscription services in their bios. As such, most creators link to their Instagram accounts, which link to landing pages like Linktree that transport followers to more explicit channels. 

Both Fleur and Miller claim that the censorship of their content has amplified in recent months, with their formerly lucrative TikTok-to-OnlyFans pipelines drying up. “Six to nine months ago, at least 80 percent of my subscribers came from TikTok. However, as the platform has changed so drastically, it is now more like 15 percent,” says Fleur. “At this point, my TikTok is completely useless. I think they’ve shadow-banned me after taking down so many of my videos,” Miller says.

The most pressing concern when it comes to sex-themed content on TikTok is that its demographic skews young: over half of 3-to-17-year-olds in the UK use the app (its minimum age is 13). Unlike Instagram, TikTok lacks an age verification process at signup, meaning children can easily evade restrictions by entering a fake date of birth.

Beyond takedowns, TikTok has measures to prevent young people from happening across—or seeking out and finding—inappropriate content, such as its Content Levels system. “When we detect that a video contains mature or complex themes, a maturity level will be allocated to the video to help prevent those under 18 from viewing it,” says the spokesperson.

Evidently, TikTok is taking staunch measures to erase sexual content and prevent young users from finding it. But according to Miller, it would be more “appropriate” for her videos to be age-restricted, which they’ve never been, than deleted entirely. “Sex has a way of being around you from a very young age in movies and media,” she says, “and social media is a part of that. It’s not just an app; it’s society.”

And she has a point: In reality, where humans go, porn will follow. 

The post The Battle Between TikTok and Adult Content Creators appeared first on VICE.

I’ve slept with a lot of dudes. I’ve had more pricks than a pincushion and I’ve had the complete spectrum of penis size. I had a partner with a micro penis, and then my current partner has a penis so big he has to order his condoms online because he can’t find any to fit him. How big? I’d say cucumber-ish. My first reaction was, ‘Wow, awesome.’ And then my second reaction was, ‘Jeepers, he’s pretty big—I don’t know if I can take that.’ I was very impressed.

When we first met, I was thinking, ‘God, I bet he’s got a small dick.’ He’s got quite small hands and he’s got a slim frame so the photos he was sending before the dick pics, I was thinking—he had his hand over his package—obviously he’s not very well-endowed, but it’s not always about that. I thought I would give it a go, so I guess my expectations were really low. When I did see it, it was like ‘Wow!’ My last partner, he was a really big guy and he did have a really impressive package as well, but I think sometimes that can be misleading. One guy that I slept with, he had a big frame but he had a really tiny dick. Like, not micro, but probably a little bit longer than a thumb. I guess that’s micro?

How to spot a micro penis

There’s absolutely no way to tell penis size but I always look at hands and feet and noses—you know: ‘big nose, big hose’. But my last partner, he had stumpy little sausage fingers—not proportionate to the size of his penis. He had massive feet, like size 13s, but he had a beautiful little nose. I guess none of those signs stack up.

To be honest, with my current partner sometimes it hurts. Like, we’ll be doing it in a particular position—like doggy-style—and I’ll go, ‘Ooh, ah, no, no, we have to change.’ Because it’s so long. It’s long and thick. I had another partner who had a really long dick, and it just didn’t fit me. In the end, the sex wasn’t enjoyable and the relationship didn’t last. It was only in some positions that it would be ok, but then it wouldn’t be satisfying me in that position. There is such a thing as too big.

The joys of thick dick

My current partner, when he lost his virginity, he couldn’t get a condom on. So in the end the girlfriend was like—maybe it was him, it was probably him actually—was like, ‘Let’s do anal.’ That’s what they started to do but that was too painful for her so they stopped. It was hard for him to actually have sex and relax without thinking about his partner getting pregnant. And it’s also risky sexual behaviour. Now that he finds them online, he always wears a condom.

I had another partner. He was a Cook Islander, and he had—he’s got my favourite dick. He had the most incredible dick. It wasn’t long, but it was substantial. A really thick dick. It was so satisfying. He had trouble finding condoms as well because his head was so big.

For anyone who comes across a big dick, I just think, well done! Lucky you! But some guys with big dicks think that’s enough. I had a partner who was a lazy root, because he thought his dick was enough. It really depends on the person. The guy with the micro penis, the sex was actually amazing because he was compensating for the lack of size in his penis. And he must’ve done research on good positions because, yeah, I had a really good time. It didn’t last, because I am a big dick person, but he was very good with his tongue.

 Big penis doesn’t necessarily = nice penis

Most guys with big dicks seem to be less like they have to prove a point or something. They seem a lot more relaxed. I find that men with small dicks seem to have a chip on their shoulder. I’m completely generalising here. Actually, there was one who had a smallish dick, but it was bent, so he could do some great things with it. Sex with him was pretty good. He was so proud of it. He didn’t care about the size.

I’m not big on anal. Like, I don’t mind it. I’ll do it on birthdays and Christmases, but not if they’ve got a really big dick. I won’t go there. At all. My current partner reckons he could blow my mind, but I’m not going there—there’s no way. He’s just desperate and I’m like, ‘There’s no way that’s going to happen.’

It’s the same as vaginas and breasts, they’re all completely different—shapes, sizes. We’re all unique, we’re all different. It’s not one-size-fits-all. As I said, I had a favourite dick, and it fitted my vagina perfectly. And his dick was not a big, long massive member, which we’re led to believe is the ultimate goal. If it’s too big to fully enter a woman, that can’t be fully satisfying. I’ve seen some huge penises in porn, and they don’t get anywhere near satisfied.

This article is supported by Durex. Always read the label and use as directed. Reckitt Benckiser, Auckland.

The post What I Know About the Average Penis Size From Sleeping With More Men Than I Can Count appeared first on VICE.

Claims that jelqing not only exists but is becoming a trend have swirled the internet for years, with explainers on Healthline and TikTok, the erectile dysfunction medication website Hims, reddit forums and Urban Dictionary, and clickbait articles. Over on TikTok, jelqing is a frequent reference on ironic incel looksmaxxing pages, where it sits alongside mewing advice and edits of the famously cheekbone-d Aussie model Jordan Barrett, who has become a looksmaxxing idol and meme thanks to his aspirational jawline.

In other words, the whole thing sounds like yet another niche in-joke among 4chan diehards that has escaped into the real world, sowing chaos and misinformation everywhere it goes. As for its real-world benefits: There are only a few suspect testimonies to its efficacy on Reddit, and even the subreddit AJelqForYou explicitly says that it does not condone jelqing and was set up to redirect men towards other methods of penis enlargement.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t some men out there who might have tried to take matters into their own hands and try it. Would that be a good or a bad idea? Urologist Anika Ackerman told VICE in no certain terms that trying to stretch your dick out “does not work and is not safe”.

“While traction devices are helpful for Peyronie’s disease [in which deep scar tissue forms in penile tissue] or curvature of the penis, on their own, traction devices will not increase length.”

In fact, jelqing can actually have the opposite effect. Anika explains that bruising, swelling and damage to blood flow can result in penile dysfunction: “I have had men see me with chronic penis pain from jelqing,” she told VICE. “This is something I do not recommend.”

Alternatively, she suggests: “Men should be happy with their length. Penises come in all shapes and sizes, and although there are implants or fillers currently used for girth, there are no well-studied techniques for increasing length.”

So for now let’s keep jelqing in the incel forums, and appreciate dicks in all their glory and variety.

@iamhelenthomas

The post Men, Please Stop ‘Jelqing’ Your Penis appeared first on VICE.

A new study, published in the Sexes academic journal and perfectly titled “As Long as It’s Not on the Face”, suggests people are less keen on cumshots than porn would have you believe. “No previous study has focused on viewers’ perceptions and preferences regarding the male ejaculation,” writes study author Eran Shor of McGill University. He surveyed more than 300 porn watchers from different demographics and cultural backgrounds and found that “most viewers either did not care about the male ejaculation or its placement or preferred for it to be in the female partner’s vagina”. More than this, Shor suggests that many of the viewers found cumshots in the mouth or on the face “disturbing”.

Now, I know better than to wade into the Feminist Sex Wars, but surely the fact many people find cumshots disturbing can’t be groundbreaking news. For decades, a host of feminist scholars have argued that, because pornography is usually made by and for men, it reflects  dominant patriarchal expectations about female sexuality, making ejaculation a particularly sticky (excuse the pun) subject. In her 2005 article, which Shor refers to in his study, Terrie Schauer of Vancouver’s Simon Fraser University argues that “since male performers are depicted discharging on their victim’s faces… breasts, or buttocks – i.e. on the bodily spaces that are signifiers of feminine difference – the cumshot metaphorically debases femininity”. 

Of course, this viewpoint is not shared by all women, or all feminists. But this hasn’t stopped the general narrative going something like: “Feminists probably think cumshots are degrading, but fellas must like them”. On the surface, porn-watching habits seem to support this idea. A 2021 study found that 24 percent of the most-watched videos on Pornhub included male ejaculation on a woman’s face. On the surface, it seems porn cumshots are a simple case of supply and male demand.

But this study reveals this isn’t the case. When asked about their preferences, it wasn’t just anti-porn feminists calling out cumshots, but a cross-section of men and women, both queer and straight. Shor reports that most of the interviewees did not care or had no preference (27 percent) or they preferred to see male performers ejaculate inside the female performer’s vagina (38 percent of all interviewees and 48 percent of the women in the sample). Only about 9 percent said they preferred to see ejaculation on a woman’s face.

For a few interviewees, particularly heterosexual men, this seemed to be less a question of taste and more one of, well, timing. Liam, a straight 25-year-old Canadian, told the study: “I’m not a big watch-until-the-end kind of guy, so no preference.” Ivan, 22, a heterosexual student from Russia, said similar: “I don’t reach that point. So I don’t care.” Others felt more strongly about where a boy should goo. Christine, 19, a bisexual student from France, said she preferred vaginal ejaculation, “where I don’t see it”. Julian, a 20-year-old queer man from Canada, said male performers should ejaculate “on themselves; just keep it to yourself”.

Look, I’m not about to jump on a table and proclaim that this sample of a couple of hundred people is resounding evidence that no one likes cumshots. But it does seem to justify my sneaking suspicion that a lot of porn out there is giving “13-year-old boy has just learnt what he can do with it”. Jizz! Spunk! Cum! What fun! Now close the tab, get back to maths homework, and don’t think about the girl washing her face in the bathroom sink. Is this just me being old-school, though? 

“I’m anti-cumshots, I think they’re kinda gross,” says Bethany, 28, whose name has been changed for privacy reasons, like others in this piece. Twenty-nine-year-old Fiona echoes this. “I think it’s gross and I don’t want that on my face, thanks.” These feelings aren’t just shared by women. “I think it’s disrespectful,” David, 31, tells me plainly. Others go for more practical criticisms. “It’s an inconvenience,” Tom, 34, says. “It’s not fair to make women wash their faces.” 

Fiona is of the opinion that the whole “cumshots are hot” narrative is a “lie spread by men”, borne out of cinematic necessity if nothing else. “It seems more like, ‘This is how we can visually show the dramatic conclusion of a porn narrative’,” she suggests. 

This brings us back to the sticky heart of the matter, because whether you love or hate cumshots in your own bedroom isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things (you do you, hun). The interesting thing is why porn makes it seem like sex has to finish with, well, a finish like a cumshot.

“The prevalence of cumshots in mainstream pornography raises an intriguing question,” neuroscientist and human behaviour expert Eldin Hasa tells VICE. “If only a minority of viewers express a preference for this act, why are cumshots so common in porn?” 

One possible explanation, he suggests, is that the porn industry “caters to certain preconceived notions of what is expected, perpetuating the idea that male ejaculation on a woman’s face or in her mouth is a standard element of sexual encounters”. 

This is a vicious cycle, he adds. “The prevalence of cumshots in porn videos has the potential to shape viewers’ perceptions and expectations of real-life sexual encounters,” Hasa says. “From a sex education perspective, it’s essential to critically assess the depiction of sexual acts in pornography and address any misinformation or unrealistic expectations it may perpetuate.”

In sex educator Emilie Lavinia’s view, the real issue is how free porn sites function by algorithm. “Porn on tube sites plays to algorithmic patterns,” she explains, “so the more of something you see, the more you’ll be served. Because of this, a landing page on a free tube site that features cumshot videos will drive more clicks and drive up demand for those kinds of videos”. But this is, she argues, “a false economy.” Lavinia goes back to the recent study to make her point. “The study shows that the sample demographic doesn’t typically seek out this type of erotic content, but they’re served it nonetheless” on free porn sites, she says. 

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“A crucial aspect of this whole discussion is whether male ejaculation can be filmed and performed in a manner that isn’t regarded as debasing to women,” Hasa says. For Lavinia, this comes down to the intention and the language of the scene. “If the scene is intended to be humiliating, and semen is framed as being disgusting, you could very well surmise that the person receiving a cumshot is supposed to be humiliated by it,” she says. On the other hand, if the recipient is consenting and excited by the prospect, “this is probably a far less degrading scenario”. 

But, of course, porn is acting. “A lot of the issue with understanding the intention is not knowing where your porn comes from and not having any insight into the wellbeing of performers,” Lavinia says. “Which is why I maintain it’s best to pay for your porn and not use free tube sites.”

To bring this back to cumshots, there are other reasons to be sceptical of the idea that all jizz to the face, chest or mouth is inherently degrading to women. “We can’t forget that this type of finish is present in LGBTQ+ porn too,” Lavinia says. T6X87 describes himself as “a gay guy who watches a lot of porn and also makes porn” (T6X87 is his performer name). “There are reasons someone might prefer not to have cum in them,” he explains, ”the main one being that there’s a higher risk of getting an STI from someone if there’s that kind of exchange of fluids.”

If you look at porn from the 80s and 90s, during the AIDs crisis, T6X87 points out “the performers often look genuinely scared of the cum – it was shot onto people’s faces and bodies and they kept their mouth closed and tried not to get it in their eyes.” This has obviously changed a lot, but the fact cumshots can now be filmed without fear is still “quite novel and exciting”, he says. “For lots of us it’s a celebration that we have reached a point in the AIDS epidemic where those of us lucky enough to have access to PrEP, etc can now have sex without anxiety.”

In the end then, the important thing might not be the cumshot itself, but what you do with it. “In my opinion, it’s the benign amusement of seeing a person covered in cum and then labelling them a slut or a whore because they’ve received a load that’s misogynist,” Lavinia argues, pointing to the “slut-shaming” language used in SEO titles, comments and tube sites. Ultimately, the best thing to do is take all porn videos with a handful of salt. 

“Directors are the ones deciding what people see on camera and it’s important to remember there’s a small number of them relative to the audiences,” T6X87 points out. “Some might have some kind of artistic vision but mostly they’re doing what they think will sell.” Basically, the next time you load up some porn, remember the most important part of a money shot is the money.

The post New Study: Nobody Actually Likes Cumshots appeared first on VICE.

Subs and paypigs get off on being degraded by someone taking their money, and sex workers – a historically oppressed minority comprising mainly of women, people of colour and LGBTQ people – benefit. Are communist findommes flipping the system on its head? Are they the modern day Robin Hood? Or are they just trying to survive in a craven, profit-driven economy? We spoke to five radical findommes to find out.

Mistress Gravity

VICE: Hi Mistress Gravity, do you treat your paypigs differently because you’re a communist?
Mistress Gravity: I take into account the social status and class privilege of the submissives who approach me. I like to ruin the richer, not the poorer submissives. If I own a submissive, I want them to become better human beings and commit themselves to ethical choices such as becoming anti-speciesists and funding causes that I believe in. I expect them to oppose all genocides, read feminist theory and books that I like and ultimately choose their battles better. 

How does being a findomme fit your idea of being a communist?
Socialism is about producing and distributing wealth in the interest of all so that everyone can have access to resources, healthcare, housing, and a decent life. This is impossible in a capitalistic system where men in positions of power control everything and have a monopoly on all resources. I think findom can be a form of political resistance to this exploitation. An opportunity to reinvent gender power dynamics with a sense of social justice in mind. 

What’s a misconception about being communist and a findomme?
That BDSM shouldn’t be political. However, our feminist history recognised a universal truth: that the personal is political. When we contextualise the daily abuse and exploitation at the hands of the state and its agents, draining men of their blood money is not a bigger scam than how they acquired it in the first place. We are consensually tapping into their vulnerabilities because even they know that they owe reparations, especially to black doms. — @gravvitygoddess

Queen Rini

VICE: Does being a communist influence the way you humiliate a paypig?
Queen Rini: Yes, very much so. All of my subs get educated on Marxism and, to a further extent, Marxist feminism as well… I link them to my educational resources so they can read and dissect theory. They can also fuck around with the Poe Bot I programmed explicitly to answer questions on communism. My absolute favourite subs are the right wing goons that will claim they want to be politically dominated and end up being un-ironically ideologically destroyed.

How does being communist influence the way you spend the money you earn from findomming?
I spend my money like most normal people spend their money – bills, food, and hobbies. In addition to that, I funnel a good deal of it into mutual aid and donating to different organisations. I try to stay away from giving money to companies that are exceptionally damaging within the context of capitalism, but we all ultimately have no choice, but to participate in capitalism because we live here. Cue the “you hate capitalism, yet you have an iPhone” nerds.

Do you see being a findomme as a form of activism against capitalism?
I think a more useful question is: “Can it be a form of activism?” And I think, yes, absolutely it has that potential. If you centre your platform as a dom to facilitate the radicalisation of your subs, then you are pushing education and advocacy for the larger narrative of liberation. — @queen_rini61412

Lily Rosa

VICE: Why did you choose to become a findomme?
Lily Rosa:  I feel like its the ultimate fuck you to the capitalist structure we live in, but it’s also deeply rooted in feminism. I, like many women, have been dealing with the unwanted attention of men for an unbelievably disgusting amount of time. I built my career in the hospitality industry, I saw first hand how much harder things were for me as a woman. I finally reached my breaking point working for a large UK hospitality company last year and realised it was awful everywhere. You’re a number to these people and nothing more than a way to line their own pockets. Why shouldn’t I continue to exploit the system in the same way these multi-million dollar companies do, using all the gifts that God gave me?

How do your views on wealth distribution align with your role as a financial dominatrix?
My goal in life is really to live a pretty simple, off-grid lifestyle (or as close as I can get with a social media presence anyway) and funnel any extra money I have into supporting other young and marginalised people to do the same.

Which communist figure do you think would be a paypig?
Marx is a submissive paypig for sure, but I think any cis man who dubs themselves a feminist or communist has got it in them. — @GoddessLilyRosa

Mistress XXX

VICE: Do your paypigs enjoy submitting to a communist?
Mistress XXX: Right-wing, Republican, and conservative finsubs (I’m vegan so I don’t degrade pigs by lumping these guys in) get off on the shame of submitting to a leftist. They’re already ashamed of their shitty political views, and that shame coupled with the shame of sending money and submitting to a communist millennial hits the kink just right for them. They’re sending money to the same person they’d be calling a snowflake.

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Which historical communist do you think would have been a good findom?
Engels would be my choice for a historical communist findom. It would be easy to say Marx because he was financially supported a great deal by Engels. But Engels seemed to take on the protective role that is so common in dominants.

What do you say to people who think that financial domination perpetuates capitalist values?
Every industry in the United States perpetuates capitalist values. It may be trite, but there is truly no ethical consumption under capitalism. Sex work has historically been a way for the oppressed to make money because it is difficult for them to do so in mainstream society. We need to eat too. I think tho, that Marx and Engels would chuckle to see a bunch of working class people draining funds from bourgeoisie losers. That is, of course, if they could get over the fact that so many of us are gay, trans, people of colour, and from other minoritised groups. — @MistressXuk

Goddess V

VICE: Does being a communist change your work?
Goddess V: Honestly, I think that being a communist allows me to have more of a humanitarian view towards paypigs (or submissives) — I know that they are just fellow members of the working class and that it is just role-play.

How would being a findomme be different under communism?
Living under capitalism has forced me to be in a position where I have to rely on sex work in order to survive. Under communism, something like financial domination would truly just be a role-play and for fun, as it was meant to be. Sex and money would be separate. 

Do you own the means of production as a findomme?
This is a very complicated question to answer. In one way, yes, I technically own the means of my own production, as there is no one that owns my labour as intellectual property. But I also technically “own the labour” of someone else? So it’s kind of a role-play of the capitalist system, only I am the one that owns the means of production and I own my “workers”.

The post The Communist Sex Workers Doing Financial Domination For Praxis appeared first on VICE.